On Fat Rolls and Wrinkles

God, the truth ain't pretty. What I feel like in my head, and what I see in the mirror are two different things. The medicine I am on made me gain almost 40 lbs in one month. I am crushed. Didn't think I was so vain, but I am. Here is the truth. I hate it, this cumbersome blubbering waist that hangs so obviously above the line of my jeans. I try to tuck it in to no avail. I contemplate a serrated knife self surgery and scrap that idea quickly (I'm not crazy). Then I feel like crying. Self pity is so ugly. It really steals so much from a person, and I'm well aware of that.

But right now, just for this moment, I'll let a tear or two fall, as I go back to my closet to chose something else to wear to this retirement party for a fellow UPS-er. I miss my work. I miss my old life, and I guess I never grieved that. It's okay to be sad for a bit, but I can't stay there.
I'll load my walker up in my husband's rig (he went to the races with the kids!!) and go for a little bit to say "hi". It will be fine. I will be fine. Life goes on, and I am a very, very blessed woman.

If you ask me that qustion one more time.....

I'll....I'll.....

Oh heck, I must have gone over the scenario a million times in my head. Some vicious comeback to the question so innocently asked. NO I had these children myself, thank you! I conceived them in the traditional manner, if you MUST know, went through nine month of pregnancy, had the labor pains myself too!

I'm NOT their FLIPPIN' GRANDMA!!!!

Did you know that the question, so innocently asked, has put over $150.00 into the hands of Oil of Olay shareholders?!! Huh? Did you? I now not only obsess over chin hairs, now it's wrinkles and father time and oh, my!!! Wait.

I AM a GRANDMA.

I forgot.

Just not to these two cherubs before you.

My bad.